Sunday, April 6, 2008

10,000 sperm and you were the quickest

What’s up with news stations interviewing the most backwoods people they can find? I just saw a segment on a power outage in Green Bay and the woman they interviewed was missing half her teeth but managed to pull her salt and pepper mullet into a pony. Good thing I turned into the news, because her take on the story… “It woke up dwag up!” Reporters later informed me bar patrons socialized by candle light.

On another note… just because it’s April, and the snow has turned to slush does not warrant you permission to walk down town in your juicy sweat pants and slutty tank tops. If your who hang is hanging out, it’s time to put some clothes in. No one wants to see your pasty white crack addict body flaunting your Mother Theresa shaped mole.

Put clothes on, brush your teeth before the TV interview and turn off NASCAR. That is all.

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