the reason i quit retail

Lindsay Lohan anyone?

I'd like to be able to put on Nickelodeon and not worry about the kids I'm letting watch it be exposed to Miley Cyrus grinding a pole in stripper shorts. I don't think Miley needs to wear leather crotch riders to be popular, she had the Hannah Montana bullshit down... she could have thrown on a pair of jeans and been just fine. But I guess I'm just a prude and think kids should be able to turn on the Disney channel and not learn how to deep throat.

in due time

After a year of being idle, the wheels have finally begun to spin and I couldn't be happier!

i did not forget, i will always love you.

the right thing

So Bill Clinton goes to North Korea to rescue two American reports... Fantastic.

I don't understand why this is such a big deal. The women were there for Al Gore anyway... and in my opinion, anyone who could save two lives at a minimal inconvenience, should do so. Big fucking deal that Clinton got off his ass and did it.

Seriously, how was he expected to react? "Eh... fuck 'em"?! I mean come on! It's pretty sad that doing the right thing is such monumental news.

the account is still active.

to all the jack johnson's of the world, thank you.

i feel like i'm not good enough for you, because i still live in the small town you abanded for the bright city lights.
it bothers me that you get upset with me because im not happy enough for you.
i wish you'd accept me for someone whose theighs rub together.
i don't post blogs anymore, not because i don't have something to say, but because i don't think what i have to say is good enough for you.
i judge my value by the response my posts get.
i'd have to look to see when the last time i recieved a response was, because it's been that long.
i'm not going to spell check this, because spell checking this would be submitting to your standards, and i'm setting my own

There is something about holding a baby, that just feels right. Relaxing. Peaceful. As if nothing else in the world matters. I wish that feeling lasted forever.

employee benefits

8:06 AM: You came in late, and I wonder if you realize it's the third Thursday in a row you've worn the same green shirt.


8:12 AM: I listen as your computer boots up, and I load the GroupWise schedule to view your calendar for the third time this morning.


9:23 AM: I hear a rustle in your cubical as you exit your office chair; my cue to refill my water bottle. As we pass in the hall you greet me, and I mention the Brewer's game, hoping to prolong the conversation.


11:28 AM: I hear the bottom drawer open as you reach for your jacket. I abruptly hang up on a business call and anticipate an invitation to lunch, but you head to the China Buffet without me.


1:23 PM: I enter the Marketing Conference late, pulling up a chair next to yours. The Axe Affect is overwhelming and I take you in like a load of warm towels, fresh from the dryer.


2:56 PM: Your extension blurts half a ring, and my stomach sinks as you whisper your evening plans to her.


3:34 PM: New Mail: Did you know the Virginia Tech shooter was a Creative Writing major? You tease me about writing poems of rainbows and puppy dogs. I'd never tell you that you're my recurring subject.


4:03 PM: The last office has been deserted, and the two of us are left with the middle-ages woman who fills the soap dispensers.


4:12 PM: I print miscellaneous documents, stand at the printer too long pretending to review them. You ask if it's work related.


4:32 PM: In unison we shut down our computers, as I imagine us turning of the lamps on our nightstands. When we head to the parking lot I slow down to be next to you in the exiting traffic.


4:40 PM: We both turn left onto JJ, and I follow you into Oshkosh for the next twenty minuets, to a "doctors appointment" I never had.

to let go

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off,
it’s the realization I can not control another.

To “let go” is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another,
it’s to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to “care for”,
but to “care about”.

To “let go” is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To “let go” is not to be protective,
it’s to permit another to face reality.

To “let go” is not to deny,
but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings
and correct them

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes, and cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is to fear less,
and to love more.

i will overcome this.

i have a degree in creative writing.
i can't remembe the last time i wrote.

are you listening?